Journey
by mistyfur
Summary: A series of stand alone stories that will explore Kathryn and Chakotay's love. Written for the fic101 on LJ. Each chapter will be based a key word.
1. Night

Disclaimers: Property of CBS/Paramount Not Mine.

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The darkest of nights, wrapped in coldest of silence.

A shadowy figure gazes outward searching for answers from the flashes of lights that speed by. Her body slumped forward, loss weighing down upon her slim shoulders and weariness eroding away her proud visage.

Regrets. Blame. Anger.

Hurtful words spoken in haste but repented in leisure.

The words echoed mockingly at her, painting a vivid picture of their last moments together. Her husky voice uttering her verbal assault, uncaring of how those warm obsidian eyes had flinched from the venomous words that sprung so easily from her lips.

Now she stands alone, watching the doors close behind his retreating figure, to stubborn to call out to him. She falls into a seething pool of guilt that she has created with her carelessness. Without him at her side, she is lost and cast adrift upon the rough seas of their voyage. Trapped in a world of her making, her true voice muted and dulled by the passage of time until only recriminations remain to slip from her lips.

The words coil around her, chaining her in a heavy cloak of doubts, censure and acrimony. Casting shadows unto the brightness that once surrounded her and dimming the light until only the deepest of black remains.

Smothering her under the raging strands and claiming victory over her...

Only to awaken and relive that moment again.

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	2. The Difference In Her Touch

Disclamiers: Not mine, except for the realm of my imagination.

Summary: Chakotay comes to a realization while he's on the bridge standing beside Seven after their return to the Alpha Quadrant. What does it mean for his relationship with Kathryn?

LJ Prompt - #1 - Blue

Thank you Elem for the Beta hug

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**The Difference In Her Touch**

Standing on the bridge with the smell of burnt relays and bio-packs filling the arid air, I look around at our crew. Their faces are filled with disbelief, happiness, sadness and relief. Some have tears streaming down their cheeks, while others stare forward with shocked expressions, their fingers clenched around their duty stations, as if they are the only thing keeping them standing.

It seems surreal.

One minute we were in the Delta Quadrant, surrounded by dozens of Borg ships and fighting our way to the corridor that would see us home. And then in a matter of minutes, we had traveled over 30 lightyears and burst into the Alpha Quadrant in a large explosion, filled with debris, fire and bright flashes of light. All the years of struggle, hardship and the endless demands of command are finally over.

I glance towards the centre of the bridge, searching for her.

Kathryn has managed to accomplish the impossible. She made a promise to them and kept her vow. Seventy thousand light years in the span of seven years. Earth is now a mere few parsecs away and the Borg Collective is lying in shambles on the other side of the galaxy.

I am in awe of her resilience, her cunning, her strength, her compassion and her determination. In our darkest days, she was the beacon of light that we followed, trusting her to keep us safe and to guides us through the treacherous waters in which we'd found ourselves. In her darkest days, we stood by her, our actions and words helping her to overcome her burdens and giving her the strength to survive each loss.

Kathryn Janeway was larger than life. To those who didn't know her well, it seemed as if she held no doubts and no fears about the outcome of this journey. But I knew her. Was I the only one that noticed the slight trembling of her petit frame at the first sight of Earth as it filled the viewscreen?

I watched her hands clench tightly, her fingers becoming stark white and then watched as her head dipped down, and her auburn tresses fell to cover her face from the watchful eyes that surrounded her.

Kathryn turned, searching for me, only to find that for the first time in our journey together, I am not at her side. These were possibly our last moments together, and I had broken my vow to remain at her side. Hurt flashed across her features before quickly being suppressed and concealed behind a quirky smile. After a small nod, she turned away from us.

I flinch in recognition of the look that swept over her face. The stars dim and become dull as what I see within her psyche shakes me to the core of my being. Only once in our voyage, after Jaffin's departure have I seen what was just reflected back at me from those rich, blue pools.

She was letting us go. Allowing me to break a promise given and proclaiming her acceptance of Seven and I.

Her love for me shone brightly, filling my spirit and soothing away the years of hurt and denial. But that peace was ripped away once again, leaving me floundering in the wake of this new revelation.

She was turned away from us and I knew that this was her final good-bye. She would walk away because staying would only rend apart her soul as she watched me with Seven.

The fleeting joy that I had felt in the beginning of my relationship with Seven, crumbles to dust leaving me bleak and empty when compared to what Kathryn and I have shared these many years.

My chest tightens and aches, sensing the coming loss. Odd, when Seven spoke of breaking off our romance, I felt hurt. My pride and ego had been bruised by her dismissal, but not my heart.

But at the thought of losing Kathryn forever, I feel like a part of me is being torn from me. I know in this moment of clarity, that only at her side will I be complete and how close I am to damning myself.

Did I really want to throw away the possibility of having Kathryn's love for the certainty of having Seven's adolescent infatuation. Was this new journey I was about to embark on with Seven, something deep and meaningful or was it merely the actions of wounded pride guiding me to seduce a woman half my age?

Thoughts racing, I'm no longer deluded by the falsehood that my mind had tried to enforce upon my love. The peace I'd felt with Seven had been an illusion, contrived to grant me a semblance of what I wished to have with Kathryn.

The conflict within rages on, my soul cries out for Kathryn as my mind blasts me with images of her spurning me and brushing me aside. I groan softly, a barely audible sound that no one catches among the rejoicing crew.

Or so I believe…

Her hand slides across the console to lay over mine. She's aware that I am losing control and that I need her support. The cold, metallic mesh of her Borg implants is in sharp contrast to the warmth of my hand.

Unconsciously, my thumb brushes lightly over the steel that encircles her hand, searching for the human flesh beneath the machinery. I'm struck by the difference in how her grasp feels when I compare it to Kathryn's.

Her hand tightens and holds mine firmly within her unyielding grasp. She ignores that I'm lost in thought and drags me forward. I follow her, as unresisting as a child as she leads me down the steps towards the silent, still figure at the centre of the bridge.

Without uttering word to break the silence, Seven captures Kathryn's hand and sets it over mine. Seven's hand remains, bridging the expanse between us.

We both jerk slightly in surprise at the heat of our flesh upon each other's. Our eyes are drawn to the contrast between us.

Her small hand is slim and milky white, whereas mine is large and rich bronze. Her fingers delicate and thin, her nails rounded and sparkling with the soft shade of rose polish. My fingers are thick and long, my nails cut short.

Seven's hand curls over ours, forcing us to thread our fingers together in a lovers clasp. Her simple act, a means of announcing to all, her approval of our joining. Her gift to us is to free me from a pledge recently given, to honor a vow made long ago to the woman for whom my heart beats.

I thank the Spirits for sending Seven and Kathryn into my life. Both whom I love, one as a cherished friend and the other as my lover and soul mate.

Seven moves away, fading into the background but Kathryn and I remain locked together, a frozen tableau in the midst of our watchful crew.

I breathe deeply, the scent of roses and Kathryn, an intoxicating aroma and a soothing balm to me. Contentment flows through me, wiping away the conflict that has raged within me. My free hand caresses her jaw, urging her to look up at me.

Hesitantly she glances up, tears shimmer and threaten to fall down her cheeks. Tiny droplets cling to her long lashes and I tenderly brush them away, finding myself in her vivid blue eyes.

The End

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2 down, 99 more to go :) 


	3. Once Upon A Time

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See Chapter One for Disclaimers 

Story brought to you thanks to a large cup of coffee and a fellow Vambies avatar. See note at end of story. Please enjoy the insanity ;)

Summary- A Voyager Fairytale as told by Kathryn

LJ Prompt - #89 - Once Upon A Time

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Once Upon A Time…

In a galaxy far, far away, there lived a beautiful maiden, Princess Kathryn. Kathryn had been born in an exotic land where her every wish was granted and her people adored her. She had been out searching for bandits when she had been kidnapped from her loved ones and thrown into a dark and dangerous world ruled by the evil White Witch who wanted to steal Kathryn's beloved from her.

Alone in her tower, our brave princess awaited her prince, confident that he would soon emerge and save her from the boredom that was already consuming her. Left to her own devices, she spent endless hours, styling and restyling her long, fiery strands into complex twists, updos and buns that would baffle even the most talented of hairdressers if they were to look upon the intricate patterns that she concocted to pass the endless hours.

As the weeks passed with her trapped in the solitude of her cell and her prince nowhere in sight, our princess was quickly becoming irate with the situation that she found herself in. Kathryn wasn't the meekest or the most patient of royalty but she was bravest, the most stubborn and after all these weeks without her favorite beverage, a feisty warrior in six inch heels ready to bring down the first person that was stupid enough to barge through those enchant locked doors.

Determined to escape and find her tardy prince, she had let her luxurious locks grow to an extraordinaire length until it had become so long, that she constantly was tripping over the silky strands as she paced about in her cramped quarters. When she thought the length was just right, she had shorn it off and cut it into a sexy bob so that the ends would frame her heart-spaced face and would swish back and forth with each movement she made. Kathryn braided the long strands into a sturdy rope that she would use to swing down from her prison and go in search of her lost mate.

The delay in his arrival could only mean one thing; he had become lost in the White Witch's kingdom. As any princess knows, a prince will never stop to ask for directions, no he would wander about claiming that he had changed the place he was going. No doubt, in his wandering he came in contact with the Witch and became lost within her clutches. It's said that even the most valiant and true of men couldn't resist her evil powers.

The princess hopped unto the ledge and tied the end of her rope around the beam. She turned and glared at the room that hand held her captive. With a loud battle cry, she swung to freedom and landed delicately to the bottom of the tower. Her triumphant laughter echoed throughout the valley to reach the ears of the White Witch, Annika.

She stood surrounded by her minions, because sitting down would have been inefficient use of her time when there were so many men to ensnare within her web. She was tall and had piercing eyes that could trap one into doing her binding. She wore a silver gown that clinched her waist tightly and raised all the excess flesh from her stomach up to her chest, creating a dip well that she used to smother those that resist her whims and wishes.

Upon hearing Kathryn's cry, the White Witch began to pout and cry. Falling to the floor and pounding upon it before she began to tear out her blonde locks in her fit of fury until she was surrounded by the torn locks and her head completely bald. The allure that she had used to trap Kathryn's prince began to wane with each fistful of hair that was flung to the floor, until the chains snapped and he recoiled in horror at the vile being before him.

Annika growled and jumped to her feet upon seeing the haze of desire disappear from her newest pet eyes. Her hands became claws, she roughly grabbed hold of his dark hair, her nails dug into his scalp, and she pulled him towards her.

He struggled against her hold but found his face getting closer…

And closer…

Closer…

"Kathryn."

'Damn!' Kathryn thought, looking up from the entranced faces that sat before her to look at Chakotay.

He stood before her, his arms crossed and shaking his head at her. He was frowning at her but had twinkle in his eyes at her antics. He looked at the five children that sat in a ring around her. Miral sat the closest, leaning against Kathryn and sucking on her thumb.

"Yes, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked innocently and fighting a smirk that was tugging at her lips.

His exasperated sigh whooshed through the air, "You have to stop telling that fairytale to the children."

"I'm just telling them a true story about their Uncle Chakotay and Aunt Kathryn," Kathryn retorted, flecking away an invisible speck of lint from her uniform. "I've just added a little more bells and whistles to make the story more exciting."

"It's making them run from Seven. You should hear them in the messhall when she walks by them, screaming that they don't want to get kidnapped and taken to her evil kingdom."

Kathryn arched her brow at him and leaned down to softly whisper to them entranced Voyager children. Their eyes widened and they looked at Chakotay before turning back to her with worshiping gazes. She nodded at them bravely and then winked at Chakotay as he threw his hands up in defeat.

"Kathryn, you know Seven doesn't have a kingdom called Ginormous!"

"Are you sure, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked sweetly. "If I'm not mistaken, you needed rescuing from it not so long ago."

Chakotay grinned down at her before leaning down to until his chest was flush against her back, his lips brushing her sensitive lobes," You've conveniently forgotten one thing, Kathryn."

"What?" Kathryn asked huskily, enjoying the feel of his body pressed close to hers.

"There's only one kingdom that I'd love to be trapped within but its princess is so elusive," he purred softly. "Is the princess ready for her prince, Kathryn."

"Has the prince finally learned how to ask for directions?" Kathryn teased.

"No matter where the prince wandered, he has always been searching for her," Chakotay knelt beside her and wrapped his arms snuggly around her ignoring the yucks and sighs that came from the five children watching them.

"Aunt Kathryn?" Miral lisped, her hand tugging on Kathryn's pant leg.

"Yes, Miral?"

"What happens now?" Her dark eyes were round with delight at the sight of her favorite aunt and uncle hugging.

"They live happily ever after," Chakotay and Kathryn replied together.

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The word that inspired this fic was on Rina's avartar. The word was Ginormous. 


	4. Butterfly Kisses

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Disclaimers: See Chapter One

Summary: Which kisses are the most impotant in ones life?

LJ Prompt - #15 - Writer's Choice

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**Butterfly Kisses**

As we reach the zenith of our seven years traveling among unfamiliar stars, I sit, this evening, in the quiet of my quarters, immersing myself in the contentment and peace of mind that has come to claim me.

The day had been calm and uneventful, a welcome change for all the crew since leaving the hostile space that we had been traversing for the last three weeks. Our journey through Bak'ernsin space had left the crew snapping at friends and loved ones, and with tempers soaring and tensions running high. But now that we were in a new sector, I could feel the relief vibrating throughout the ship. We had entered an uninhabited area of space filled with spectacular star clusters, astronomic phenomena and an M-class planet that would give this crew a welcome respite.

I pull the large, thick azure coloured angora blanket over me, cuddling into its fluffiness and breathing deeply the scent that clung to it. Earthy, musky and smelling of Chakotay's rich cologne. Whenever I have it wrapped around me, I can pretend that it is his arms surrounding and holding me close, and it makes the hours that we spent apart seem shorter.

My hands cradle an old-fashioned ceramic cup. It is a rich cream colour, its rim trimmed in gold with the image of lilies etched upon its round, tapered body. I take a small sip of the beverage within and crinkle my nose at the strange taste of the chamomile tea that Chakotay had handed to me before going to lie down in our bed. He had scheduled himself on Beta shift and had just returned to our quarters after pulling a double shift. Seeing his tired visage, I urged him to lie down and I settled myself down to enjoy a quiet evening.

As I drank, I found my mind wandering over memories of the past. I was not concentrating on battles won or lost, or on moments of anger and fear, or even on decisions made, that I had at one time regretted. No, at three o'clock in the morning, my thoughts take a fanciful turn as I think back on the many kisses bestowed upon me throughout my life. Not just the everyday ones but the ones that have caused me to feel the most emotions.

The first kisses that I recall are the ones of unconditional love given to me by my father, mother and at times, Phoebe, when she was younger and had not yet evolved into my annoying but lovable younger sister. Whether they were given to say 'I love you', to make the pains of a fall go away or as Daddy's greeting to his little girl, they were the most precious to me as I grew older and began my exploration of the stars. They were the ones that had been lost to me for many years now and are the kisses that I wish I could experience again, even if just for the briefest of moments.

I am so far away from my loved ones now. I would give anything to feel the brush of my mother's lips over my forehead or her hand stroking my hair. Her touch was powerful enough to hold back the demons and gentle enough to assure me that everything would be all right in the end. If I close my eyes, I can almost recall the touch of her hand and scent of her perfume.

The next were the kisses experienced by a young woman eager to start her new life with someone that she loved. In my mind, these were the kisses of promise placed so shyly upon me by Mark, as if he was afraid that I would shatter or run from his declaration of love. It is odd how the heart can change the mind. One minute he was vulky Hobbes Johnson, the boy that I avoided at all costs when we were growing up and the next, my heart had welcomed him within its fragile depths, allowing him to become my port in a storm.

Our kisses were sweet and filled with unwavering devotion and acceptance. We never asked for more than the other could give, our relationship growing from the bond of renewed friendship. His quiet strength guided me through those dark days when guilt filled me for failing to save Justin and my father. Mark helped to heal the scars that had been inflicted upon my psyche at the loss of my loved ones.

It seemed only natural that from the blossoming of our friendship that we would become more. Our love was one born of familiarity, trust and acceptance. It had never seethed with uncontrollable passion and fireworks, but it was deep, meaningful and true.

My heart aches with regret as I remember our last moments together. If I had known that it would have been our last, how different I would have made them. I would have held him close, my lips pouring forth all of the love and desire I felt for him. Imprinting a vivid memory and leaving no doubt in his mind of how deeply I cared for him.

Instead, the reality was very different from the dream. I had been rushing about the room throwing things into my bags and talking up a storm, as he sat quietly watching me, a quirky smile on his lips and love shining from his eyes. I had walked by him and pressed a quick peck on his cheek that lasted, at most, a few seconds. Both of us secure in the knowledge that in a few short weeks, I would return and at last would be his wife. If only we had known how brief our time together was to be.

Would we have changed how things went or would it have remained the same?

I shiver and hug the blanket closer, pushing aside the regrets and clearing away the cobwebs that had appeared as I thought back on Mark and me.

My forehead furrows as I shift from memory to memory until I reach the next. Of all these, this is the one that was the most dangerous and most contrived. Even now, I cringe at what could have happened if my deception had failed.

The attraction between the Devoran Inspector and me had been obvious to all. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to him. He was tall, dark and had had a seductive aura of danger that would have been a compelling lure, if it wasn't for the taint of evil that was impossible for him to conceal within those soulless dark orbs.

Our kiss was a carefully crafted ruse on my part. He saw only what I had wanted him to see, a lonely woman who was so starved for human touch that she was gullible enough to fall for his false charms and sultry words.

The feel of his lips upon mine lacked a vital something and looking back, I realize that it was missing humanity and truth. They were hard and cold, claiming ownership, even as mine were soft, warm and yielding. He took and I gave, leaving him to believe the illusion that I was willing to participate in the melding of our two bodies. The kiss lasted far longer than I would have wished and I counted the seconds as the passed, pretending that the feel of his tongue entangled with mine was a welcome enticement and not an invasion. Feeling him pull away, I looked intently up at him into sorrowful eyes before he valiantly walked away, his step faltering mid way before continuing on.

It had taken all my strength not to burst out laughing and roll my eyes at his blatant over-acting. If he thought that I had fallen for his martyr act, he was even more self-deluded than I had thought.

Even though these events had happened over two years ago, I still chuckle as I recall the look of betrayal that he threw at me once our game had been played and I had won.

A soft shuffling sound makes me look towards our darkened bedroom, I waited to see if Chakotay had awakened but it had only been him moving about in his sleep.

A tender smile spreads across my face, as I think back on our first kiss. I am not counting his frantic mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as he desperately tried to breathe life into me during our encounter with the alien and his matrix, but the first time that I finally let go of my stubbornness and admitted my feelings for him.

It had been after our encounter with the Equinox. The rift between us had grown and threatened to destroy us. His comments on the bridge as we mounted the plaque, gave me a shred of hope that not all was lost. We had agreed to meet in my quarters and that we would arrive together at the party, showing our crew that all was well between the command team. It might ease their minds but I feared that Chakotay would never forgive me. I paced my quarters waiting for his arrival, dreading and hoping that he would soon arrive.

When the door chimed, I breathed out shakily and called out a welcome.

The door slid open and he stood quietly before me, smiling at me as if he still cared but shifting slightly away from me, as if unsure of his welcome into my inner sanctum. Chakotay was holding a small, black rectangle within his hands and shook it.

"I've brought the salad, Kathryn. Did you remember to replicate the croutons?" He teased softly, dimples flashing, reaching out to me and wanting to bridge the expanse between us.

I stared back at him, my words trapped by the sudden tightening of my throat. A strangled cry wrenched free from my disintegrating control, the dam collapsed under the barrage of hurt and anger that I had inflicted on both of us, my tears flowed freely and my sobs shook my frame.

I didn't see him move forward but one minute I was alone and fighting my demons and the next I was in his arms, his hands soothing as they stroked along my back as he uttered nonsense words into my ear. My hands clutched at him, seeking balance from the vortex of emotions that were overwhelming me. He pulled me closer and I laid my cheek against his chest. We stood still for what felt like an eternity, my tears falling onto him and soaking through his uniform to touch his bare flesh. My sobs slowed to a stop and I raised my bloodshot eyes to meet his. I was ashamed of my actions over the last few weeks; I was ashamed of my loss of control but most of all, I was ashamed of how I treated the man before me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice raspy and small.

"I know. Hush, Kathryn," he murmured, rocking me like a hurt child and refusing to let go. "You are who you are and I wouldn't change anything about you."

His words helped ease the torrent of censure that had been on the horizon. I was safe and content, completely at peace for the first time since New Earth. Breathing shakily, I reached up and pulled him to me. Shyly, I brushed trembling lips over his, feeling his start of surprise at my sudden actions.

"Are you sure?" Chakotay asked, needing to hear me say the words aloud and fearing that I would back away before I could.

"Yes," I sighed.

Our lips joined and we fulfilled a promise given all those years ago. It was tender, hungry and seeking, the merging of two souls to become one. It had been the start of our relationship together and it was a moment that I wouldn't trade for all the riches in the world.

I hear the shuffling sound again and it is followed by a soft call. I throw off my blanket and leaving the half-filled cup on the coffee table; I rise quickly and make my make towards the bedroom, still lost in thought.

Our love has overcome all the odds and our passion burns as brightly now as it did when we first met. However, there is one kiss that is as powerful as Chakotay's.

It has the power to make me crumble at its first touch and to fight with every fiber of my being. It fills me with hope and love, strength and weakness, fear and awe. I stand before his sleeping frame, absorbing the sight of his short black hair and bronze skin.

A tender smile eclipses my face and I reach down to pick up Kol. I walk quietly away, letting Chakotay rest as I cradle our child in my arms. His tiny hands are waving about in the air, his face scrunched up into a frown that Chakotay swears makes him look exactly like me when I'm in the middle of one of my death glares. His upset cry fills the air until I lay him close to my breast, the sound of my heartbeat a soothing lullaby that calms him. His fingers curl into the silky strands of my hair and he pulls it close to his pursed lips as he drifts back to sleep, safe within my arms.

I sit down and pull the blanket over us and I gently rock him. I softly sing a lullaby to him and look down on Kol, a child born of our love and devotion. A wave of love washes over me at the sight of him curled so trustingly against me and I reached down to press gentle lips to his cheek and he cuddles closer to my warmth, leaning into my kiss, much like his father. Chakotay calls them my butterfly kisses, sweet and soothing.

I simply call them a mother's lovingly touch.

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	5. Conversations

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Disclaimers: See Chapter one

Summary: A comm conversation between J/C. LJournal Prompt # 34 - Queen

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"Janeway to Chakotay"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true, Kathryn? That you're out of rations? Then, yes"

"I'm the Captain. I'm never without rations. Tuvok came up with that security measure within weeks of us being stranded in the Delta Quadrant. For the safety and well being of the crew, of course"

"Of course. Then why do you keep stealing mine?"

"Yours, mine. Such a negative way of looking at it, Chakotay. Besides, does it really matter?"

"Yes, if it means that I'm subjected to weeks of Neelix's 'cooking' because of your underhanded shenanigans"

"Fine, I'll give you a simple explanation as to why your replicator rations are mine and why mine are mine"

"'Mine are mine'? Interesting choice of words there, Captain"

"Well, I'm the Queen"

"That's your justification?"

"Yes"

"So, in other words, you're a tyrant. A ration stealing tyrant"

"Don't you think that's a bit…"

"Harsh? Mean? Accurate!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm the kind, generous and forgiving-"

"Delusional"

"-Captain to my loyal crew"

"You've started to hallucinate. How long have you been on duty?"

"About four hours and I'm just sitting here enjoying a nice, hot cup of coffee."

"Do I really need to provide you with examples after that blatant example of your despotism, Kathryn?"

"I'd like to see you come up with another one, Commander"

"Are you serious?Kathryn, I've seen Ensign's quake in fear of your death glare. Harry hasn't been the same. Even Tuvok was concerned about stepping into the fray after you pounced on Harry for drinking the last cup of coffee a few weeks ago. I swear I can hear him whimpering every time you step onto the bridge."

"Nonsense, he just ran into his console and was in pain."

"He was trying to hide from you and your evil little glares"

"He's not the only one I can give those looks to, Commander"

"I'm immune since I'm locked behind doors in the safety of my quarters and you are all the way up in the Ready Room."

"Have you heard of transporters?"

"You wouldn't dare… okay, maybe you might but think of the huge energy drain and the peeved off bat'leth toting engineer that you'll have to placate if you do. Less energy reserves means that there will be less rations for you to filch from your poor, suffering First Officer"

"Poor suffering First Officer, now who's delusional? Just for that, let's hope that by the end of the day you have any remaining. Now, stop stalling and answer my question. Is it true?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Why don't you just give me a yes or a no? You've said those words to me plenty of times before."

"I've said them? That's like the pot calling the kettle black, Miss Janeway. I'm not sure if I should tell you. Can you wheedle a little more?"

"You can be a real big jerk at times, Chakotay. Now, tell me or else"

"And you say you're not a tyrant?"

"I'm reaching for the nearest phaser and making my way to your location"

"You've got to work on that temper, Red"

"Only if you work on your warped sense of humor, tattoo boy."

"Now that was uncalled for, Kathy"

(silence)

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"You know what I'm waiting for and I'm warning you, Betsy is all polished up and ready to go if I don't get my answer within the next few seconds"

"Didn't Tuvok lock her away with a level ten force field after the last time you whipped her out?"

"I'm coming…"

"Alright, put the phaser down, you maniac. Yes, it's true."

"Oh…"

"I may have a date tonight"

"You don't sound too sure"

"That could be because I haven't asked her yet"

"Then I should let you go. After all, why are you bothering to speak to with me when you need to ask your 'dream girl' out."

"Kathryn"

"I hope you have a… wonderful evening together"

"I hope so too"

(silence)

(silence)

"Kathryn"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing tonight?"

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Just a little insanity that cropped up in my mind. ;) 


	6. Stargazing

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Disclaimers: See Chapter One

Summary: Kathryn spends a moment of watching the passing stars. LJ fic101- #25- Moment

AN- Went back and fixed those typos that escaped my proof reading.

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She sat curled up into the warmth of a fluffy blanket, her legs tucked under her and the edges of the blanket held loosely in her fist, holding the material in place. She was engrossed at the sight of the pulsating stars that flashed by, appearing to be no bigger than pinpricks of bright light as Voyager made her way through the vast cosmos. Each night, she crept quietly from her bed, grabbing the blanket and making her way to her usually spot for a few moments of reflection and calm as the day ended and a new one began. Each night she was greeted with new stars, sometimes with large clusters and other times, sparsely populated. She never tired of exploring space, each day brought new mysteries and phenomena that she had often sought but now she hungered for familiar stars to guide their way.

"Kathryn." His deep, velvet voice pulled her from her reflections.

She turned and smiled sheepishly at the sleepy figure that watched her from the doorway.

"Did I wake you?" Kathryn murmured, she pulled open the blanket and beckoned him.

"No," Chakotay responded, making his way to sit beside her, sliding beneath the covers and wrapping his arms about her. He pulled her close and held her against his chest.

She snuggled close to his warmth and leaned back.

"I reached for you and found you gone. I waited for a bit but then heard these little sighs coming from here and decided to investigate." He teased.

"I wasn't sighing," she refuted, "I was merely thinking."

"Well, I could hear you thinking all the way in the bedroom," Chakotay replied with a yawn, "What were you thinking about that had you so transfixed?"

"You'll think it asinine," Kathryn muttered, her cheeks flushing at the whimsy that had encapsulated her thoughts.

Chakotay shook his head at her words. She had managed to surprise him yet again, as if there was anything that she would say that he would find fault with.

_'With the exception of when they were arguing about one of her madcap schemes.'_ Chakotay acknowledged ruefully.

He tenderly nudged her chin up and smiled down at her," Never."

Her flashes fluttered down to conceal her expressive eyes, a quirky smile pulled out her lips and a soft sigh escaped. He watched as her fingertips peeked out from beneath the wooly covering and began to trace a distracted pattern.

"Kathryn," Chakotay murmured, his hand grasped hers, stilling her movements. His thumb brushed against the soft skin, feeling her tremble under his touch. "Tell me."

"I was looking at the endless possibilities of the universe. Each new star that we pass holds untold secrets. We will have come and gone in a matter of seconds but they remain for eons. We're simply intruders that enter their realm as they stand watch over us. Sometimes guiding us, sometimes flaring out at us to punish us for our impudence in tracking through their homes and sometimes letting us stand in awe of them. So complex and breathtakingly beautiful," Kathryn said quietly, pulling away from him and shying away from his gaze. "I told you it was silly and not very scientific."

Chakotay silently regarded her as the stars cast their silvery beams upon her. Her body glowed under their radiance giving her an ethereal aura, as if the stars were anointing her with their magical essence and granting her their blessings on her journey ahead.

"Not silly, Kathryn," he chided softly, sliding down to knell at her feet.

She looked down at him, her expressive blue eyes widening as his dark gaze swept reverently over her body, slowing down and lingering as they reached her pursed lips.

"Beautiful, mysterious and awe-inspiring," Chakotay continued, as he tenderly brushed aside the wisps of hair that attempted concealed her from him. His breath caught at the love reflecting from those vibrant pools. He basked in its presences having found contentment after so many years of being alone.

It had taken them almost six years before Kathryn and he had at last put aside protocol and admitted that they loved each other, all those years of strife, hurt and loneliness wiped away by their declarations. Not forgotten but put to rest.

He laid his head on her lap like a child seeking the warmth of a mother's embrace and his arms wrapped loosely about her legs. He silently uttered a heartfelt pray of thanks and his lids slid close, submerging himself in the bliss being with her. They had almost lost this but fate grated them a second chance and they had grabbed hold of it, determined to never let go.

She looked down at her friend, lover and soul mate. "You're somewhat biased, Chakotay," Kathryn whispered, stroking his hair and broad shoulders.

"Merely truthful," a muffled response came from the prone figure before he rose to tower over her.

Blue met black and simmered with unhidden emotions.

His hands reached tenderly to draw her into his arms and he cradled her close. Her head tucked underneath his chin, her silken strands teasing his flesh with each step he took. He glanced down at her and saw her eyes closed and a blissful smile graced her beautiful face.

The stars faded away, paling to the eclipse the vision in his arms and all that remained was Kathryn.

* * *


	7. A Perfume By Any Other Name

* * *

Disclamiers: See Chapter 1

AN: A huge thank you to Monstermoof for her amazing beta on this story. You help tweak and trim the unnecessary things and helped shine the little problems areas.

Fic101 - #35 - Need

* * *

After much pleading, urging and finally some creative threats, Kathryn Janeway had conceded to going on a much-needed shore leave. To say that the Doctor and Chakotay had practically flung her from the ship as soon as they had tethered Voyager to the space station orbiting the planet would be only a mild understatement.

She had put up a token protest, after all she was the captain, and there was no way that she was going to admit out loud to the dynamic plotting duo, that she was more than willing to give into their demands that she get some rest. It would set a terrible precedent, and one that they would adopt quickly for future shore leaves, to save the crew from her caffeine-induced plots and mayhem.

To say the last few weeks had been stressful would be like saying that Kligons had a little bit of trouble controlling their tempers.

Once again, issues had sprung up left, right and centre that demanded her attention. Most of them revolving around Seven. The first being the Unimatrix Zero freedom movement, and then a scant few weeks later, a mission to find a new cortical node when Seven's began to malfunction. It seemed that every week, she was fixing or chasing after her freed Borg, for one reason or another.

Then when she thought that she would finally have a reprieve and be able to enjoy some time on the holodeck, B'Elanna had discovered glitches in the main computer processor and micro-fractures along the hull that needed to be fixed before they could travel above wrap two. Kathryn had been pulling double shifts for the past week, spending hours crawling in jefferies tubes scanning for defects and finding one problem after another. The small problems had quickly expanded and grown until they had become a huge headache that would only worsen as the time passed. After completing her lengthy shift, Kathryn barely had the energy to stagger into her quarters, grab a quick bite to eat and shower before rolling into her bed for a few hours of restless sleep.

In addition, to top off an already stressful week, they had been forced to change their flight plan and add an additional five months because of a xenophobic race that populated this region. Kathryn's glare at the viewscreen was hot enough to have melted the metal casing, and Paris had later sworn in the safety of the mess hall that he had felt the heat of it searing against the back of his head.

Kathryn's patience was about to snap, she had finally reached the point where the sound of a comm. badge had her snarling at the unfortunate messenger. Even a cup of her favorite robust Milano flavored coffee failed to bring serenity to her long days.

Between assimilation and vexation, Kathryn Janeway needed to take some time for herself and began to plan her escape when they encountered a populated warp capable planet along their new course.

She smiled as she recalled Chakotay's antics earlier this afternoon in her ready room. He had stood before her, his eyes serious and tugging unconsciously on one ear. A gesture that she had noted he did when he was getting ready to tell her something that he thought she would find unpleasant, and he knew would have her stubbornly digging in her heels against his proposal.

Kathryn sighed softly, remembering her reaction to him as he stood at full attention with his arms behind his back. The material of his uniform had pulled tautly across his body, clinging to his muscled chest and thighs. It was all she could do not to ogle his well-toned body, and she had scolded herself for the brief lapse in protocol, even if it had occurred only in her mind.

There had been a long pause in the conversation and she looked up guiltily. Damn! He was waiting for a response. What had they been talking about?

'_Neelix's latest culinary masterpiece? No, that wasn't it. I would have remembered that topic._' Kathryn thought with a shudder, remembering this morning's multi-colored and multi-textured…well, calling it a meal would be a stretch for anyone's imagination. It had been a disgusting mixture that was as thick as oatmeal but slimy with hard little pebble-like berries mixed within. She still felt nauseous just thinking about it ingesting that meal, hours later.

'_Seven's latest scheme to borgify Voyager's systems to increase efficiency?_' No, he would look more upset if we had been discussing Seven and her 'Borg Perfection' plots.

All right, she had to admit defeat. She had no idea what to say to him and she couldn't admit out loud that she had been distracted by more pleasurable things. She had no choice but to go on the defense and hope that he hadn't noticed her gaze paying attention to other areas of his body instead of his chiseled, gorgeous face.

"Your point being, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked, arching her brow regally.

"My point being, Kathryn, is that's you're tired, stressed, unable to focus and in the last two days you've made four Ensigns run out of this ready room crying." Chakotay replied in exasperation. "Three of the Ensigns I could understand folding under your death glare but when Harry broke down after giving you a report, we all came to the conclusion that you need to get off the ship."

"Who exactly is 'we', Commander?" Kathryn asked coolly, enjoying the moment as he fidgeted in front of her. She had no doubt that the Doctor was the other part of the 'we' but she wanted to hear him say it aloud. "It almost sounds like a mutiny."

"Hardly a mutiny, Kathryn. Just two officers that are deeply concerned for the well being of their Captain." Chakotay muttered rolling his eyes at her and not falling for her guilt trip.

"I'll take it under advisement. Thank you for your concern for the leader of this vessel but I'm perfectly fine," she replied coolly, hiding her amusement by looking down at one of the many padds strewn across her desk. "I'm perfectly capable of knowing when I require shore leave."

"Would you be willing to go if I said that your best friend was concerned about your well being and that he would feel much better if she took some time off to enjoy herself?" Chakotay cajoled, flashing his dimpled smile at her. "I'll even read all these reports and have them ready for you when you return.

'_Damn! There he goes again. He knows I have zero resistance when he starts flashing those things around. Almost all of the females on Voyager cave under that boyish grin. He and his dimples need to come with a warning label. Caution, if you are a female, beware!_' Kathryn scowled playfully at him, letting him know that she was well aware of his tactics and readied herself for an all out barrage.

* * *

Needlessly to say, she had agreed to go on shore leave without too much protesting since that was her original plan in the first place. It never hurt to let the man think she was following the Doctor's orders. Kathryn beamed herself down to the Delta Quadrants version of Risa. Scantly clad blondes, brunettes, auburn people sauntered about the square. The first sight that greeted her was the jewel-toned figures of females the native to the planet were clad in long flowing sheer gowns and the men adorned with what appeared to be mere loin clothes and a sash. They filled the main complex and sat among the many flowered walkways. Their near naked state would no doubt have had Paris wolfishly whistling in delight and B'Elanna muttering hotly under her breath at Tom's tomcat ways before elbowing him sharply for his lapse in judgment.

A light breeze eased the heat of the twin suns shining down on them. The planet was a rich oasis, the colors ranged from the palest greens to the most vibrant of reds. Flowers beds lined the entwining walkways everywhere one looked, and there were benches within easy reach for visitors to enjoy the vistas around them. In the distance, a mountain surrounded at the base by large willowy trees, stood majestically over the city, a guardian that held back the fury of nature and was a holy site to this world's inhabitants. Overall, it was a wonderful place for some rest and relaxation that Kathryn had desperately needed.

Her first visit to the surface had been to meet with Pre'Shah Tar, the planetary leader and the biggest flirt she had encounter since the Sikarian leader, Gathorel Labin, in Voyager's first year in the Delta Quadrant. He had been charming, debonair, extremely sensual and was looking for wife number thirty-five. In his eyes, Kathryn Janeway would be his next perfect mate and future heir bearer.

Pre'Shah Tar had been very creative in his attempts to coax her to his side. The words dripped from his lips like the sweetest of honey, his tone so dulcet that one could easily have fallen under his spell of words - if one didn't detect the practiced manner to them. He offered her the rarest jewelry that would pale to her beauty, the softest of silks that appeared like coarse cloth when compared to her skin, and the most priceless gemstones that would appear dull when held up against the perfection of her cerulean eyes. She arched her brow in surprise as she felt his hand slide teasingly up her thigh to capture hers and he had begun to look soulfully into her gaze, appearing to all that saw them in his throne room like a caring suitor who had come to call upon her.

He had been a master of manipulation and it had taken all of her diplomatic skills to avoid angering him into not trading with them. Voyager needed the supplies and the promise of shore leave that this planet could provide them. Only after stating that another held her heart in his keeping did Pre'Shah Tar cease in his efforts to acquire her for his personal harem.

Diplomatic meetings finished, Kathryn was finally free to begin her shore leave. She was looking forward to exploring the markets and the ancient forests that surround the city. A guide had been offered to help her find her way around the city, but Kathryn had declined the offer, wanting to discover all the hidden gems within the city, not only the more touristy spots that all large cities had.

She walked slowly down the filled street, watching the bustling crowd rushing back and forth, as they searched for a bargain from one of the many vendors that had set up shop.

In the distance, the twin suns were starting to descend in the lilac sky. As they sank, the colors changed from the palest of lilac to a vibrant midnight blue that was tinged with a purplish hue. Glittering high above, stars began to twinkle against the darkening backdrop.

After leaving Pre'Shah Tar, Kathryn had spent the day relaxing in one of the many flower gardens before setting out to the markets. She didn't know what she wanted to purchase, but knew that she wanted to take something back to remember this remarkable place. She walked from stall to stall, but nothing caught her attention for more than a brief second. Finally, at the very last shop, she found something that intrigued her.

An aging woman was tending to the shop. Her stooped figure sat gazing at the passing crowd, leaning heavily on her thick, twisted wooden cane as she watched Kathryn's approach. Her hair was the purest of white with strands of gold entwining with the silky mass. It hung down to her waist in a thick braid. Her skin was wrinkled with age and her fingers were curled into themselves, a sign of someone that had worked often with her hands, laboring and creating works of art. She was modestly covered in a lavender gown made of what appeared to be silk and lace dotted with silver beads.

Bottles of all colors, shapes and sizes were arranged on her table and off to the side a burner was emitting a pleasant aroma to tempt the shoppers to stop at her wares.

"Hello," Kathryn called out as she approached the booth. "It doesn't look like you're very busy today."

"They do not seek what I have to offer," the woman replied, gesturing to the passing crowd disinterestedly, "but for you I can provide something special."

Kathryn turned to look at the wares upon the table. An array of colors caught her eyes as she saw the many intricately craved bottles. Some were long and slim with a marbled appearance, and some short and round, made of the finest of glass but it was a tiny bottle craved with the figures of a male and female holding each other close that drew her. She picked it up and turned it about in her hand, enthralled as the images seemed to change poses with each movement of her hand.

"This bottle is made of the finest of jade stone, found only in the mines in the southwestern province, a place blessed by our God's. It has been said, that anything carved from the scared jewel will aid their owner in finding their heart's desire. Within this bottle resides a perfume that will beguile the senses and intoxicate those around you in its heady scent. It can drive even the most passive of suitor's wild, while bringing your true love closer." The woman stated. "It will not change his feelings for you, only deepen the bond between you.'

Kathryn looked at her suspiciously before taking a small sniff of the perfume. Her eyes widened in delight at the scent. It had a crisp, refreshing scent that reminded her of the robust smell of damp earth and dew that filled the air back home in Indiana or on New Earth after a rainstorm. It also contained a hint of jasmine, rose, lilac and another scent that was indescribable. One would think that with all the scents combined, the perfume would be too strong and nauseating, but instead it was a rich, compelling mixture that was heady to the senses.

"It smells wonderful. How much is it?" Kathryn asked, reaching for her purse.

The woman held up her hand to still her actions and shook her head, "Take it, Captain of Voyager. Each scent is special to the one who dons it and this is my gift to you. Only use one drop," she cautioned with a small smile.

"But-"Kathryn tried to interject once again to pay for the exotic perfume, uneasy about receiving something without bartering or paying for it. Too many years in the Delta Quadrant tended to make one question peoples motives and actions. Blind trust was luxury that she no longer allowed herself.

"I have been compensated already by Pre'Shah Tar. I will not suffer a loss this day. Simply enjoy it and stop looking for a hidden agenda. I give this to you, may its sweet scent guide your steps, lighten your spirit and warm your heart," the woman replied, smiling gently at her. "Now remember, only one drop."

"Alright," Kathryn replied with a laugh. "Thank you."

"May the blessing of the Goddess Kr'al guide your steps forward and may the protection of the God Nat'rah guard your back," she whispered as she watched the retreating figure of Kathryn Janeway leave the market, sensing that of all her visitors, this one needed their aid more than the others that had often sought her out.

* * *

Kathryn walked into her quarters and set her bags down, a content sigh escaping her lips as she took in the familiar sight of her quarters. The room had been softly scented with her favorite fragrance, roses and ocean mist. A large bouquet of wild flowers sat in the middle of her dinning table. She made her way towards them and noticed a cream coloured envelope resting against the crystal vase.

Picking it up, the faint scent of Chakotay's cologne wafted up to her. Her eyes closed and a small smile graced her lips as she brought it close to her face, breathing deeply. He had started to leave her letters whenever she returned to Voyager from an away mission or shore leave. She knew this was something she should have stopped when it first began, but from the first moment, she had seen his bold scrawl across the thick paper, the gesture touched her far more than she showed.

It was a guilty pleasure that she looked forward to upon her return, but one that she would deny if questioned by anyone. She had a stack of letters saved since the first year of their voyage together. She'd carefully placed them in the back of her drawer, hidden from prying eyes amidst a colourful array of silk, satin and lace garments. Every morning, she reached in and touched them, their presence reassuring her of his feelings. Feelings that she couldn't return until she kept her promise to their crew.

Feelings that she denied, appearing to all that looked at her as a cold and harsh woman. A woman that played with the emotions of the one man that accepted her, regardless of her flaws. A woman who constantly spurned the one man who had laid the key to his heart and dreams into her cruel hands. She knew that no one could understand how many nights she went to sleep praying that tomorrow they would be home and she would be free of the burden of guiding and protecting them. Only the stars and her pillow bore testimony to her silent tears and whispered pleas.

Only once she had completed her duty would she be able to accept Chakotay's love and finally share with him her love.

Kathryn pulled the letter away and folded back the page.

Kathryn,

Welcome back.

The ship hasn't been the same without you, the Alpha

shift always drags without you here to make us all laugh

and I miss…

Well, I'll leave that to your vivid imagination!

She could almost picture him before her, his eyes twinkling with mirth and teasing, as he tilted his head side ways as if waiting for her response. Kathryn chuckled at the mischievous look that would have raced across his handsome face before he continued.

The ship didn't fall apart, there were no warp core

explosions, no sickbay emergencies and Seven is still

alive, barely. I had to do some creative reassignments

to keep her safe from a certain hot tempered half-Klingon.

I still haven't found that stash of leeloa root that you

and Neelix have hidden from me. If you tell me where

it is, I'll make you a delicious dinner, vegetable biryani,

followed by a double scoop of that coffee ice cream that you

love so much.

Interested? Come on, Kathryn… coffee ice cream.

Just give me the location and all that can be yours.

Tempted?

18:00 my quarters and dress comfortably!

Chakotay

To anyone looking at them, words would have sounded dull and meaningless, but to her, each line was dear. Each letter always mixed a little bit of work and play. His way of bringing her up to speed but at the same time treating her as more than just his captain, she was his best friend and someone that he cared deeply for.

Kathryn returned the letter to lie on the table and made her way to the sonic shower. She had less than two hours before her shift started and after three days away from home and the constant decision-making, she was glad to be back. As much as she enjoyed exploring new worlds, a part of her always missed the familiarity of Voyager. She missed seeing her crew and above all, she missed him.

After she had dressed, she remembered the small vial in her bag. No one except Chakotay would be close enough to detect its mild scent upon her. She placed one drop behind each ear and pulse points, rubbing it into her skin. Her nose crinkling in pleasure as the delicate scent wafted over her. She placed the tiny jar on her dresser and looked briefly at the mirror, nodding in satisfaction. Everything was in place. Her uniform pressed, her hair for once perfectly set in place and only the slightest hint of her lipstick was visible.

Kathryn made her way out of her quarters, her mind at ease and relaxed, filled with an eagerness to face the day and whatever new challenges came her way.

Back in her quarters, the innocent looking bottle began to glow.

Kathryn walked into the empty Messhall, making her way to the open counter that hid Neelix away from view.

"Good morning, Neelix," she called out cheerfully.

"Welcome back, Captain!" Neelix cried out gleefully with a large smile, not stopping stirring the large pot that was bubbling and gurgling with each turn of his spoon. A thick, mist hovered over the mixture concealing the contents of tonight's meal from curious eyes. "What can I get for you today? I have some delicious pancakes with maple syrup, topped with whipped cream and sprinkled with strawberries, blueberries and raspberries."

"Sounds delicious, Neelix, but after all the rich food that I had while on the planet, I think I need something less decadent," Kathryn answered, leaning into the counter and resting her hand on the counter top, her fingers brushing aside a stray crumb. "Just some of the fruit and a piece of toast this morning."

"Did you enjoy your leave, Captain?" Neelix scrambled about the kitchen assembling the requested meal and arranged it on a plate. He fretted over the array of fruits before deciding on creating Fruit Salade a La Neelix, a tantalizing blend of mixed berries and some special gi'kan fruit. He had been growing a crop of gi'kan fruit since the Captain had proclaimed them the most delicious thing that she had tasted since Godiva chocolate. Neelix discarded berries that had the slightest imperfections. Only the best food would be served to his Captain from his kitchen.

As he puttered about, the delicate aroma of her perfume wafted towards him and he paused. The scent was heady and beckoned him to search for the creature who wore it. He turned to face her and the animal within him crowed triumphantly at finding her so quickly. His nostrils flared and his cheeks flushed with desire. He struggled to breathe but found his breath sluggish at the sight of his beautiful Captain. Kathryn stood before him, the stars flashing in the background highlighting the auburn locks and anointing her skin with their radiant rays. Her eyes sparkled with delight and her vivacious smile drew his eyes to her pursed lips. Watching her, he sensually tugged on his side-whiskers, imagining that it was her soft hands touching him, tugging and pulling at them in her mating desire for him. His lids lowered and he bit his lip to contain his groan at the sensation of her touch.

Neelix strode forward manfully until he was beside her. His steps confident and he pushed his chest forward to draw her to look upon his masculine strength. "Your breakfast as you requested, Captain," Neelix purred, placing the plate before her and reaching out to stroke her hand. He growled hungrily at the feel of her beneath his hand, and quickly clasped it against his heart.

"Mr. Neelix! What do you think you're doing?" Kathryn demanded, frantically trying to pulling away from his furry, iron-hard grasp. She looked around her and saw that she was thankfully alone with him and that no one had witnessed Neelix's odd behavior.

"Why so formal, sweetie?" Neelix asked, pouting at her, "Just moments before you were calling me so sweetly, I felt that my name was a blessing as it was uttered from your lips."

"If this is your idea of a practical joke, I am not amused," Kathryn said icily, wondering what had happened in the space of a few seconds to cause Neelix's odd behavior. "Because if you think this infantile-"

"Why are you angry at me, sweetums?" Neelix cried out, tears falling down his face at her rebuke of his affections.

"I'm not-"

"You are!" Neelix wailed, falling back from her, muttering under his breath and whimpering, his hands ringing and twisting his clothing in his panic. _'How can I make her happy again?_' He thought frantically, slumping low at her rebuke. His eyes widened gleefully at the surprise that he had just created for his dearest sweetie.

"I know how to make you happy again, dearest." He scurried back into his niche and emerged with a large cylinder, caring it with care as if it contained ambrosia of the God's.

Kathryn had been backing away slowly towards the door, trying to make her escape before he reappeared. "_Whatever he had been cooking must have hallucinogenic properties. I'll have to get the Doctor to have a look at him. As soon as I've made it safely out of here,"_ she thought.

"Kathryn, where are you going?" Neelix asked with hurt whimper, looking at her with wide puppy like eyes.

She froze at his shout.

"I really need to return to bridge," Kathryn managed to croak out pleasantly, fighting the urge to bolt. After all, she had beaten the Borg, she could handle one Talixan that was slightly amorous. She stood tall and confident before him, ignoring the tiny voice that shouted at her to get the hell out of Dodge.

"You really should try this. I made it especially for you," Neelix coaxed, lowering his lids to look upon her, " its taste is smooth, bold, rich and powerful. A complex blend that invigorates and seduces the taste buds. Almost orgami-"

"Perhaps next time. Good-bye, Neelix!" Kathryn called out, cutting him off before he could finish his sentence and racing out the door, ignoring the mournful cry behind her. Dignity be damned! There was no way she was willing to stick around to hear whatever else was going to blurt out of his mouth.

If anyone that she passed thought it odd to see Voyager's Captain racing down the corridors as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her, Kathryn hoped that they thought it was an emergency and not the desperate act of someone trying to flee the Mess hall. Although, after some of the meals that Neelix prepared, she was sure, that this wouldn't be the first time there had been a speedy exodus from there.

Kathryn hurried down the corridor, thinking about Neelix's odd behavior. She shuddered as she recalled the carnal look in his eyes and the love names that had flowed from his lips to assault her poor ears.

'_Wonderful. Now she had that image in her mind. Neelix and lustful glances. Two words that should never be thought of in the same sentence,_' Kathryn chided herself, rocking slightly as she waited for the turbolift. _'Hurry… come on.'_

The doors swished opened and she rushed in, grateful to see it empty. She leaned back and began to relax as the doors slid closed, hiding her from the unwanted advances of amorous Taxalians. She tensed as the turbolift came to a stop on deck four.

"Good morning, Captain," Tom said cheerfully stepping forward.

"Morning, Tom. Are you on the way to the bridge?" Kathryn asked, peering around Tom to look intently out the doors for the hint of brightly coloured cloth.

"Just finished. I was going to pick up B'Elanna and head over to the messhall for a light snack," Tom replied, noting her odd behaviour. He followed her glance and saw only an empty corridor.

The doors slid shut and he saw her breathe out in relief. The turbolift was empty except for the two of them and the silence between them grew. Tom could hear her soft muttering under her breath and watched her rocking from one foot to the other. She was lost in thought and paid him no mind.

"Are you alright, Captain?" Tom asked, noting her flushed appearance and a wisp of hair that was curling around her jaw.

"Fine, fine," Kathryn answered hurriedly, flashing him a shaky smile.

"_Right, and Neelix doesn't use leeloa root in everything he cooks,"_ Tom thought skeptically.

He leaned back and watched her, it wasn't often that he saw his confident Captain so frazzled, heck he had only seen her like this once before. It had been during a battle with the Kazon, there had been a shower of sparks as a console exploded close to where she had stood. Chakotay had rushed to her side, pulled her free from the dangerous cascade before it caused her any harm, only to trip over a piece of debris that lay on the ground. Their surprised cry as they fell drew everyone's attention to them. Tom had watched as Chakotay's arms wrapped around Kathryn and swiftly turned them so that his body would take the brunt of fall.

They hit the floor with a loud groan and a thud as Chakotay's head slammed into the gray carpeting and Kathryn's hit against his chin. They lay dazed and unmoving, unaware of the position that they were in with their bodies flush against each other. Her hips cradled against his, her lips almost touching his, her chest pressed firmly to his and her hands clutching his broad shoulders. As awareness had returned, they quickly pulled free of each other but everyone had seen how flustered Voyager's Captain was.

Tom scowled at the memory, remembering how he had wished it had been him lying beneath her instead of Chakotay. He would have tried to kiss those luscious lips instead of just laying there like a big dolt.

Her aroma drifted over him, wrapping about him and captivating him, sparking a feeling that he had put aside long ago. The years had been kind to Kathryn Janeway, she was perhaps even more beautiful now then when he had seen her from his crouched position at her feet. Like then, there was nothing more he wanted to do than worship at her feet.

He felt a sudden urge to push the strands of hair aside and map a path along her jaw, down her collarbone, until he reached… Tom stifled a groan as his thoughts led him through one erotic scenario after another.

He had to touch her.

She looked good enough to eat, her Starfleet uniform failing to conceal the curves of the woman that wore it. His hands itched to caress her skin, run his hands through her hair and plant a kiss on her that would surplant his image over the countless men that had flitted through her life.

"Computer, halt turbolift," Tom snapped, he grabbed hold of Kathryn's arm and swung her into his embrace.

Her shocked gasp filled the turbolift before being smothered under the pressure of his kiss. Her mouth had parted to reprimand him when his tongue invaded and began to entwine with hers.

'_What the-!'_ Kathryn panicked and began pushing and trying to wriggle free of Tom's iron like hold on her.

Tom's hands ran down her back to cup her buttocks, his fingers kneading the plump flesh before skimming up to clasp snuggly around her hips. He rocked against her, mistaking her frantic squirming to get free as desire. Tom pressed her body into the wall and leaned into her, deepening his kiss, his hips pinning her in place.

'_Never have I been kissed with so much….suction,'_ Kathryn was dazed and stunned as Tom's tongue explored the crevasse of her mouth, the tip teasing the roof of her mouth, to sweep down and trace over her teeth and than again thrusting forward to tangle with hers. Her knees weakened and she collapsed against him before coming to her senses.

Tom pressed closer, smashing her further into the unyielding surface. He thrust a muscular thigh between hers, growling loudly in her ear as he felt her heat searing through the coarse material of his uniform. His grip tightened and he held her body a prisoner, unable to move except by his commanding touch.

'_Where the hell is a crow bar when I need it?_' She thought peevishly, her head reeling and her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen. She shook her head back and forth, seeking to escape the suction cups that had permanently glued themselves unto her bruised and swollen lips. She bit his lips firmly, the metallic taste of blood clinging to her lips and tongue.

Freedom!

Her lungs greedily inhaled, her chest rising and falling rapidly in relief. Kathryn heard Tom's vehement curse and broke away from him. He stood glaring at her heatedly and ran his tongue over his sore lip as she panted, drawing in one frantic breath after another, her hands held up in front of her to ward any further advances.

Tom stared at her, drawn to her beauty and passion. She was intoxicating. Her scent, her body her taste. He had to have more or else he'd go mad. He ducked down, pouting as she evaded his mouth but saw her tempting nape, just waiting to feel his kiss. He nuzzled it lovingly and nibbled, growling at the taste of her. He gently sucked, nibbled and pulled at the tender flesh, leaving behind his love mark.

"Tom… Tom! I don't want to hurt you-" Kathryn said calmly, wrapping her hand over his wrist and trying to still his movements.

Kathryn cursed as he escaped her and began to feel his hands floating over her body. A stroke… a tickle… clenching… kneading. Traveling down her back to rest on her hips, holding her still.

'_Where did that extra hand come from?_'

Tom ignored her words, lost under her spell.

"Let me go, Tom," Kathryn words broke off as his hand grasped her breast and began to knead the swollen flesh, fingers seeking and trying to entice. Without thought, her knee rose and connected with a very vulnerable part. She heard his straggled cry and felt him collapse to the ground.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kathryn demanded, staring down at the curled up figure that lay on the ground at her feet, gasping for air.

"Kathryn..." he croaked, his face pale, sweating and green, his hand inching forward to touch her.

"If you value your life, I wouldn't touch or say another word," Kathryn stopped him, her words stilted," I'll deal with you later. Computer, beam Mr. Paris to Sickbay, now!"

He disappeared in a bright shimmer and she leaned back against the bulkhead. Trying without much success to calm herself.

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."

"Yes, Doctor." Kathryn snapped.

"I was curious as to why I have Mr. Paris on the floor of my sickbay, rolled up into a ball and whimpering. I asked him and all he is responding is(,) 'Kathryn' and 'turbolift'. Would you have a better explanation?"

"Yes, but it's not important at the moment, Doctor. Find out what is wrong with him." She ordered.

"He appears to be the victim of blunt force trauma to his-"

"I know why he's like that! Find out if there is something chemically wrong with him. He's not acting like himself," Kathryn cut in, not wanting to hear the innuendo that would no doubt emerge from the Doctor. "You should also ask Neelix to come down to sickbay as well."

A moment of silence passed before the Doctor asked pompously, "Is Mr. Neelix able to come to Sickbay on his own or is he lying incapacitated in the mess hall?"

"Doctor," The warning clear in her low tone, "Just do it."

"Aye, Captain."

"Janeway out"

Kathryn heard the loud snort of laughter burst free from the Doctor before the comm link closed.

In the privacy of the turbolift she paced and finally vented out her frustrations in a loud scream. Her hands reached up and ran through her short locks, mussing the once perfect strands and tugging at them in vexation.

'_What is wrong with them? Did the universe decide that today was the day to play a cosmic joke on me? If Q's involved, I'll ring his omnipotent neck.'_

"Bridge." Kathryn ordered tersely, tapping her foot impatiently. The doors slide open and she stormed out.

"Mr. Tuvok, my ready room," she called out, hurry into her sanctuary and sighing in relief.

"Aye, Captain." Tuvok swiftly followed her and waited for her to speak.

"I have to inform you of a problem that occurred this morning but I want it to remain quiet amongst the people in question, yourself and the Commander." Kathryn announced, walking about her ready room like a caged animal. "The matter is very sensitive and I don't want anyone to be embarrassed about the events."

"Of course," Tuvok stated. "May I inquire as to the nature of incidents so that I am better able to keep any concerns at bay."

He watched as she ran a hand through her short strands, noting how disheveled she appeared. Her uniform was creased and had a small tear at the bottom. Three steps to the left, pause, shake of her head and then three steps back to her right, only to resume her pacing again.

Tuvok raised his brow at her agitated state. She seemed to be whirling about the room, venting her frustrations and ire over the events of the last hour.

Her words faded away as he became entranced with her strides about the room. His nostrils flared slightly, and his lids lowered as he watched her body flit to and fro in a hazardous manner. Her emotions raged within her, bringing forth an almost uncontrollable yen within him to aid her in cooling her fiery rage with the cool logic that guided him.

They would be the perfect blend of opposites. Volatile emotions brought to head by reason. Sensual woman and stoic man. Their union would benefit everyone. Having looked at the problem from all angles, he could only conclude one answer to the current dilemma that was hindering the Captain's pledge.

He turned to her, "Captain."

"Your suggestions, Tuvok," Kathryn asked wearily.

"I can only think of one thing, Captain," Tuvok replied seriously.

Kathryn laughed softly, "I always appreciate your guidance, old friend. What would you recommend?"

"I would like to take this opportunity to declare koon-ut so'lik, my desire to become your mate." Tuvok's words hung over them.

"You want to do what?" Kathryn's mouth dropped and she looked at him in disbelief. She barely contained the urge to pinch herself to see if this entire day was a nightmare with Tuvok's statement.

"I wish to claim you as my mate. Captain, I have held you in great regard over the many years of our friendship. Though I find your emotions to be chaotic and illogical at times, they do guide you well." Tuvok stated, looking at her for her response.

"You want to… mate with me," Kathryn choked, stumbling at his shocking statement, "I… but… T'Pel is your mate, Tuvok."

"I will always honor her as the mother of my offspring but it is only logical that once our ship has been declared lost, she would no doubt find another mate to secure our home and well-being." Tuvok replied, "I should do the same. To wait until we arrive home before commencing on this journey, when we can start a life together as of this moment would be a more efficient plan."

"Tuvok, I'm honored but that would not be proper. Protocol doesn't allow for the Captain to be involved with a member of her crew," Kathryn replied.

"An interesting argument, but you forget that I am as well versed in the mandates and procedures of Starfleet proctor as yourself, Captain. The directive states that a Captain may not attempt to initiate any sexual advances upon a member of her crew. If a liaison is desired, the junior office must be the one to attempt the first contact. As I am doing so now."

"Yes, how could I have forgotten that…" Kathryn mumbled under her breath. _'Damn Vulcans!'_ "Tuvok, before I give you my answer, could you please report to Sickbay. I want to make sure that the Doctor says it's alright for either one of us to get involved with anyone."

'_Please buy that. Maybe the Doctor will know what is going on with Neelix, Tom and now Tuvok once he's had a chance to examine all three of them.'_

"A most logical course of action," Tuvok proclaimed, nodding at her wisdom. "I will return after the Doctor has made his decision. Permission to leave, Captain."

"Granted," Kathryn replied hurriedly, watching him warily as he made his way out the door.

'_Think, Kathryn. There has to be something wrong. First Neelix's coffee seduction attempt, then Tom's turbolift kiss and now a marriage proposal from Tuvok,_' Kathryn mused, her cup of coffee getting colder as she paced._ 'What's the common factor?'_

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead. Please tell me you have an answer, Doctor." Kathryn pleaded, rubbing her forehead as a headache began to flare.

A soft sound drew her attention to the doorway. She nodded and Chakotay walked in. He stood watching her pace, noting the tense shoulders and frowned. Concerned, his eyes roved over her face, seeing the pain that flickered through her blue eyes and the deep lines that surrounded them. It seemed that her shore leave had failed to bring her some relief. She appeared to be more stressed out than before she had departed the ship.

He cringed as Tom and Neelix's voices blasted over the comm, assaulting their ears with angry taunts, insults and snide remarks. Kathryn rolled her eyes at them and tried to bring order to the chaos occurring four decks below her.

'_Welcome back, Kathryn.'_ He thought ruefully, soaking in the beauty of the furious woman before him. She was magnificent as she prowled about the room, her face flushed and rosy, her eyes gleaming and bright. Her short hair swung about her face in her agitation, teasing him with glimpses of her neck that he longed to kiss. He sighed as the aroma of her perfume drifted over him, reminding him of the sweet scent of roses and fresh earth. He smiled at the scent, remembering the last time that he had smelled something similar.

New Earth.

Kathryn had been sitting on the dewy grass, her blue dress dotted with water stains and dirt. Her hands tenderly moved the earth about the delicate stems of the tomatoes plants that she had been growing for the last month. He had stood in the distance watching her movements, afraid to approach her until she looked up and saw his frozen frame. Her smile urged him close and he quickly moved, drawn to her side. They sat together, talking quietly. Her, tending the garden and him, tending to her needs. The day turned to night and they had risen as one, colliding with each other. Both laughed and came to a stand still. The moonlight cascaded down on them and the crisp night air brushed over them.

Kathryn shivered as the breeze cut through the thin material of her dress and he had pulled her closer, and felt her arms wrap around his waist as she curved into his embrace. The scent of roses, earth and Kathryn engulfed him, and left him breathless in its wake.

Tom's sharp cry drew Chakotay from his memories of a better time and back to the situation at hand.

"Watch your mouth, hedgehog. She loves me not your fur covered body," Tom growled in the background.

"She does not! I'm always pampering her and bringing her coffee," Neelix countered hotly, almost in tears at the thought of his Captain not loving him.

"You mean poisoning her, don't you?" Tom asked acidly.

"This line of reasoning is flawed Mr. Neelix and Mr. Paris," Tuvok interrupted calmly. "There is no need to behave like unruly children and fling about insults. The Captain's choice is obvious to anyone with the capacity to see the reality of her situation while leading Voyager home."

"What?" Tom and Neelix blurted, perplexed by Tuvok's verbose statement.

"I would be the most logical of mates for the Captain. My strength and emotional stability would be a great asset to help ease her duties," Tuvok stated, his tone suggesting that he was the only one of them worthy to stand by her side.

"What she needs is someone to help her remember that beneath that dull uniform lies a warm, sensual woman," Tom retorted, making it clear that only he could do that for her. "Besides, you already have a mate."

"You're both wrong!" Neelix shouted in an agitated high pitched shriek, stamping his foot with each word. "She needs someone to pamper her and see to her needs. Why would she need stability and sex when she could have my coffee substitute?"

"What the Captain needs is for her senior staff to stop acting like love sick fools!" The Doctor snapped, tired of the chaos and explosion of voices that was disrupting his Sickbay.

The three men ignored him and continued bickering and insulting each other's skills.

"Computer erected a level ten force field around biobeds 1 through 3. Remove command access from Commander Tuvok and Lieutenant Paris," The Doctor sighed and walked into his office, " As you can hear, Captain, what ever they have been exposed to, is still affecting them. At the moment, they don't have any control of their behavior."

"Have you had a chance to come to any conclusions?" Kathryn demanded, pacing agitatedly about the room.

"From what I can tell, they've all been exposed to something that is affecting their olfactitory sense. Their unusual behavior is because they are reacting strongly to pheromones. More to the point, your pheromones, Captain."

"Mine, but how, Doctor? We haven't encountered anything unusual recently and they were fine before they decided to try and …"

"Ravish you?" The Doctor supplied. "They must have come in contact with something while in your presence to have them all fixate upon yourself. Did you notice anything odd?"

"Other then them? No," Kathryn fired back, rolling her eyes at the Doctor's tone. "I haven't veered from my normal way of doing things…"

'_Only one drop…' The woman's voice forced its self into her conscious._

Kathryn groaned and raised her hand to her forehead, trying to massage away the on coming headache. _'The perfume. I knew it would lead to disaster.'_

"I may have an explanation. I was given a gift from a trader on the last planet we stopped at for shore leave. The perfume may be the cause." Kathryn announced tersely.

"Interesting gift, Captain. Your newest weapon against the enemy? Why use fire power when Love Potion # 9 works so much better," The Doctor snickered, not bothering to hide his mirth at yet another Delta Quadrant misadventure involving Voyager's Captain.

"Doctor, I am really not in the mood to deal with your infantile enjoyment of this situation," Kathryn warned, itching to go down to sickbay and smack that grin off his holographic face. "When will they be normal again? The last thing I need right now is getting trapped with another hormone crazed crew member."

'_Not even if it's Chakotay?_' Her conscious taunted her. _'Just think about it, Kathryn. You and him, all alone, no one to interrupt you, just imagine it… A Starfleet and a Maquis. He comes to capture and punish you for trying to apprehend him. His mouth and body against yours, wiping away the taste and feel of Tom. He'd be more dangerous and sexy than helmboy. Go on, you know you want to.'_

'_No…'_ Kathryn sighed in denial, ignoring the thrill that resonated in her at the thought of being at his mercy and the peevish voice within her that loudly protested her stubbornness.

"Well, in Mr. Paris case, never, but the rest of them should return to normal by tomorrow. I can't say if this phenomenon will only affect the males or if the pheromones are potent enough to also effect the female. In the meantime, I would recommend that you avoid any contact with the crew, unless you wish to become another person's object of lust." Doctor stated sardonically. She heard a loud shuffle and a sharp cry in the background. "Mr. Paris, put that down! Sorry, Captain but the natives are getting restless. Doctor out."

Kathryn paced back and forth, so absorbed in her thoughts that she had forgotten Chakotay's presence in the room until a soft chuckle drifted across the room to reach her. She spun around to look at him and froze at the predatory stare that greeted her.

'_Oh my…'_ Her conscious purred in delight.

Kathryn tried to mask her gasp as she looked at Chakotay. He leaned against the bar that divided the ready room, both hands grasping the railing and slowly stroking it and drawing her attention to them. Lids lowered and she became lost in the moment as she imagined that it was her body that was under his touch. She raised heavy lids and met his stare.

Love and lust warred within his intense gaze, both fighting to win in the battle for her attention. She breathed deeply and felt the ache within her grow into a feverous inferno as a hot-blooded smile curved his lips. He took a deliberate step forward, stalking her. She was caught in his unbreakable hold, unable to look away from the sheer animalistic grace that was so deeply entrenched in the man before her.

He smirked at her, feeling the battle between the two sides that made up his Kathryn. One wanted nothing more than to give in to him, every part of her responding to her mate but the other part was just as determined to avoid the entanglements that their coming together would bring. It was no surprise to them when the Captain roared forward, unwilling to concede defeat.

The blood roared throughout one word him at her defiance, her retreat from them raising a red flag to the hungry male before her. He stalked forward, his every move slow and calculated, eyes fixated on her lithe body.

"Chakotay?" Nervously, she backed away from him before halting her retreat. She was a Starfleet Captain, she could handle one luscious, handsome, oozing sensual male. She had taken care of Tom without too much difficulty. She could handle Chakotay just as easily.

'_I just bet you could,'_ her naughty inner voice purred, deeply and enticingly. '_How shall we take charge of the situation? Order him to strip and claim his decadent lips, making him lay down on those white satin sheets that you've kept sealed for a special occasion. Image how his bronze skin would look against them, almost as if it were the two of us entwined together. Oh, yes… that would be wonderful. Chakotay and hot mind numbing sex. What are you waiting for?'_

'_I can't do that! He's my first officer and friend. How would it look if I attacked him?'_

'_Like you've finally come to your senses? Oh, he's coming closer. Come to momma, baby!' _Her conscious growled.

'_And that's why you're not in control, I am.'_

'_Hello, I am you. What I want is what you want. Besides, I think you're going to lose this battle, Katie. Look at him, all that raw passion.'_

'_This can't be good!_' Kathryn moaned silently.

'_It'll be very good,_' her inner voice replied salaciously, _'he's devouring us with his eyes.'_

'_No, I'm his commanding officer,'_ Kathryn chanted, hoping to quell the urges rising within her and losing the battle, her passion for the first time in almost seven years overriding her mind. _'He serves under my command...'_

'_How do you like serving under me, Commander?'_

"Computer, initiate lock down directive 112-delta, authorization Maquis Alpha," Chakotay ordered, his voice low and with a dangerous edge.

"Lock down complete, level ten force field in place, removal access only by Commander Chakotay." The Computer verified in a smug voice.

"Oh no," Kathryn breathed rapidly, something within her melting at the prowling jaguar that was stalking across the room towards her frozen frame. Her breathing deepened slowly, her chest rising and falling, in an unconscious rhythm that mesmerized and ignited the conquering male before her.

"Oh, yes," Chakotay countered with a dastardly chuckle.

"What do you think you're doing, Commander?" Kathryn asked haughtily, fighting her every logical instinct that screamed at her to flee from him, unless she wanted to be claimed by him.

"No need to be so formal, Kathryn. I've got the answer to all your problems all in one simple solution. Let me help you with your problem, Kathryn," Chakotay tempted her in a come-hither voice, "Don't you always come to me during the day?"

"For running the ship's business, but I'm quite capable of taking care of this minor altercation." Kathryn replied smoothly, cringing at the huskiness that she heard. She cleared her throat and straightened, "I have this crisis under control."

"Hush," Chakotay shook his head at her disapprovingly, ignoring her comment and forging ahead. "They did bring up some interesting points. Shall we go over all the areas that Neelix, Tom and Tuvok brought up? I've been your companion and sounding board throughout these years, you've come to me when you questioned yourself and your decisions. No matter how I may disagree with you, you always get my support. That will never change, I promised to be at your side and I would die before breaking that vow to you."

"Chakotay," Kathryn started to speak but stopped at his scolding glance.

"Haven't I pampered you with my rations for coffee and edible food? Especially that coffee ice cream that you love. Do you know why I always replicate it after a meal for you?" Chakotay finally stopped his advance, his chest almost flush with hers, rising as hers fell.

Kathryn shook her head, her protests vanishing at the feel of his chest brushing teasingly over hers. She shifted back, hoping to weaken his invisible hold over her body.

"It's a treat for both of us. I get the pleasure of seeing you enjoying yourself. Every murmur and moan of delight that escapes your lips while you nibble away at your treat, lights a fire within me. If I can make you feel so alive and passionate from such a simple thing, imagine how you would feel in my arms. I love the vibrant woman that you try to hide beneath these shapeless, bland uniforms."

"We're best friends. You know that's all we can be until we get home," Kathryn said softly, her eyes pleading at him for understanding and patience, not knowing that she let him see her love for him as well.

"Any other time, I'd be willing to bend to your wishes, Kathryn but not today," Chakotay announced, pouncing at her and swinging her into his arms. He carried her to the couch in the upper level, paying no heed to her squirming figure and surprised yelp at his actions. He tenderly placed her down and covered her with his frame. His hips cradled hers and his hands wrapped snuggly around her wrists, pulling them to lie over her head, a sacrifice to his passions.

They lay still in each other's arms as their eyes locked on one and other. Hers filled with the fears that had made her hold him at bay these many years, but nothing could conceal the glimmer of love that shone from beneath her apprehension. His were filled with unconditional love, acceptance and determination. He had waited patiently but now it was time to make her his.

His brow arched and his expression asked her to hold still and trust him.

Kathryn shivered as she felt him nestled so closely to her. Each twist and move that she made only served to remind her of where he lay. She inhaled sharply as his lips found her earlobe and tugged on it playfully. His hands, so strong and able, traveled down her arms and began to explore her body in the softest of caresses.

Chakotay waged an all out assault on her senses. His breath swept over her flesh, his hands kneaded and caressed but his lips… so talented… so sneaky…

Kathryn's arms sprang up to wrap around his neck as he found the sensitive spot behind her ear. His mouth was a dangerous weapon that laved, nibbled and taunted. She whimpered and arched helplessly

'_He feels so good,_' Kathryn's thoughts fragmented as his hands slid under her top to cup her breasts. She moaned as his fingers found her, stroking her swollen flesh so slowly that she thought she would go mad from his touch.

So long, she had waited for this moment for almost three years and it had finally arrived. "_If not for the perfume…"_

'_The perfume!'_ She had to stop him. He would never have initiated this if he were in his right mind.

"Chakotay, we have to stop," her voice trailing off as Chakotay snuggled closer to her core, his hips rocking in a rhythm older than time. Her lids fluttered close at the pleasure of touching each other so intimately.

"We waited long enough, Kathryn," Chakotay replied huskily, nuzzling her jaw.

"No.. this is wrong," she whispered, shuddering under his touch, "not real…the perfume."

Chakotay pulled away, understanding the last of her reluctance. He kissed the tip of her nose and pulled away to flash a dimpled smile at her.

"The effects of perfume," Chakotay stated, "wouldn't make a difference."

"Why?" Kathryn demanded, cringing at how husky her voice sounded.

"There were no feelings that it could alter. I've felt this way around you for the last seven years. The perfume seems to only work on those that aren't already under your spell. As to answer you're your unasked questions of why now, would you have allowed this any other way?" Chakotay questioned, caressing her cheek and smiling as she turned her face to maintain their connection.

"I don't know," Kathryn admitted, "Perhaps. Now give me your real reason, Chakotay. Why?"

"It's been long enough, Kathryn," Chakotay murmured, anger flaring briefly at the loss of time that both of them had allowed to pass because of their fears. "Don't deny it."

"I wasn't going to," Kathryn whispered. "We've been playing a game of cat and mouse for far too long. It's time to stop. We can't keep doing this, Chakotay."

"We've given them five years of our lives and I refuse to give them anymore."

"I can't…"

"We can," he insisted, "Don't you know how I feel?"

"Please."

'_No more hiding, Kathryn,'_ Chakotay thought and pressed onward.

"You think that I'm acting this way because of the perfume but I would still be as intoxicated by you beauty, grace, wit and you selfless love of others, Kathryn. What I'm feeling for you has never been a secret to anyone on this ship, except perhaps to you," Chakotay said quietly. "You've had me captured under your spell since the very beginning of this voyage when you first put your hand on me."

'_Stop being so damn stubborn, Kathryn. Starfleet doesn't demand this of any of their Captains._' Her conscious demanded. _'Love him, as you've for so many years in the silence of your heart.'_

The chains holding her emotions at bay broke, and she stood free of the shackles that had restrained her. Calm swept over her and eased her troubled thoughts. '_It was time.'_

"So, you're admitting that this was just a ploy to get me to give in to your nefarious desires? That you deliberately set out to lead your innocent Captain astray?" Kathryn asked slyly, giving in to the pleas of her heart and his, a quirky smile tugging at her lips.

"Yes," Chakotay admitted unabashedly. "What are you going to do about my insubordination, Captain?" His tone serious and courteous, if one didn't look into his eyes to see the devilish gleam that shone from deep within.

Kathryn thread her fingers through his dark strands and pulled him close, she murmured against his flesh, "Well, you came here knowing the danger, you assaulted your Captain with your body and kisses and then admitted your guilt without a hint of shame."

"That seems like an accurate recounting of my actions," Chakotay replied cheekily.

"I just have one question."

"Yes?"

Kathryn surprised him by suddenly rolling and pulling him along with her. They fell to the ground, Chakotay's body taking the brunt of the impact. Kathryn burst out laughing at his shocked expression.

She leaned down, "What the hell took you so long, Commander?"

The End

* * *

Let me know what you think 


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